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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23462485">Read It and Weep</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wambamshangalang/pseuds/wambamshangalang'>wambamshangalang</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Diary/Journal, Embarrassment, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:02:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23462485</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wambamshangalang/pseuds/wambamshangalang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan keeps a diary via a Google Document as a way to organize his thoughts and express his feelings for Shane.<br/>It is never a good idea to keep a personal diary via a Google Document.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>299</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Read It and Weep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Summary:<br/>
Ryan keeps a diary via a Google Document as a way to organize his thoughts and express his feelings for Shane.<br/>
It is never a good idea to keep a personal diary via a Google Document.</p><p>Word Count: 5,048</p><p> </p><p>   The more Ryan thinks about it the more clarity it seems to provide to him. What he really needs to do is get back into journaling. Not journalism as a career path, but journaling as a way for him to organize his thoughts on paper. A place for him to write everything down so that he can clear up some space in his buzzing mind for current projects and things that he’s actively trying to work on. What Ryan needs is a diary.</p><p>   “Dear Diary, this feels a little silly but I know that in the long run it’ll be better for me to get my feelings and thoughts out so they’re not all just bouncing around in my brain. Nothing feels silly for too long anyway, it’s all about forming a habit for yourself.”</p><p>   He’s planning on going to the store eventually to buy himself one, maybe pick out a nice faux leather notebook for himself at Barnes and Noble. He is only going to write in a Google Doc temporarily, and then transfer his thoughts into his physical book once he picks one out.</p><p>  “Dear Diary, I love working for Buzzfeed, and I’ll always be thankful for the opportunities I’ve had here, but maybe I’m hitting a wall. Maybe it’s time to move on. Maybe I need help to make that jump, I don’t know if I will ever commit to doing it on my own.”</p><p>   Time passes however, and Ryan really loves writing out his feelings, and soon the idea of transferring so much text into ink is far too daunting. So, Ryan just decides to continue his writings in the Google Doc.</p><p>    “Dear Diary, every time I hear that laugh I think it’s a sound I’d like to hear for the rest of my life. Especially when I’m the one causing it.”</p><p>   Now, at this point it’s no secret to Ryan that he’s in love with his best friend, and by no means is it a secret to Ryan’s digital diary. It is a secret to everyone else however, including Ryan’s best friend in question, Shane Madej. Ryan writes about Shane all the time, it’s his way of dealing with the feelings he has for the other man while still keeping it under wraps as they work together on a daily basis, spending more time together than probably most other people. </p><p>  “Dear diary, movie marathon with Shane last weekend still has me daydreaming. Sometimes being with him makes me feel like I really will want domesticity one day. Maybe I wouldn’t say no to some domesticity right now, with him. We could wake up together and make breakfast, work together on videos during the week and binge old horror films on the weekends.”</p><p>   As time has them now, Ryan, Shane and their good friend Steven have entered into a new adventure together, the adventure of starting their own company. The personal investments of time, money and effort that these men have made are turning this budding new project into something they all are incredibly proud of. Although they are obviously still learning what it means to be CEOs, they’ve done a better job so far than they ever thought they would.</p><p>   “Dear Diary, the channel went live today. I can’t believe this. We’ve done it now, it’s all out there. We’ve founded our own company. I’m running a company with my best friends. Life doesn’t feel real in the slightest right now. In a good way. I know it’s a good way.”</p><p>______________________________________</p><p>   Ryan is just waking up on a Tuesday morning several months after the launch of their new channel. He checks his phone to see he’s already received four text messages from one Steven Lim. It is 7:30am. Ryan groans, wiping the sleep out of his eyes as he unlocks his phone.</p><p>  “Ryan I need that document you were working on for the new watcher weekly segment.” 7:02am</p><p>   “Please send it to me asao” 7:02am</p><p>   “ASAP*” 7:03am</p><p>   “Rocky” 7:03am</p><p>   Despite himself Ryan laughs at the stupid joke. He had forgotten to email Steven the copy of the concept he was working on before he left the office yesterday, and Steven is always so early to get to work in the mornings. Ryan opens up his Google Docs app on his phone and selects his most recent file, forwarding it into an email addressed to both Steven and Shane so they can discuss the segment once they all make it to the office. He hits send on the email and types out a quick reply text to Steven.</p><p>   “Sorry, just sent it. Be there in 30 minutes” 7:33am</p><p>   Ryan gets up out of bed, still sleepy and stumbling, stretches his body out and makes his way downstairs for a cup of coffee. Not even five minutes later as he’s just taking his first sips, his phone is ringing in his pocket. It’s Steven calling, already. Ryan rolls his eyes a little bit, but answers the phone anyways.</p><p>   “Hey man, what’s up?” </p><p>   “Ryan, uh,” Stevens' voice comes out strained, and Ryan immediately knows he’s stressed out. They’ve all been stressed enough these past couple of months for Ryan to recognize exactly what Steven's voice sounds like when he feels a bit out over a ledge.</p><p>   The other thing though is that Steven seems hesitant right now, which is not usual for him. And he still hasn’t said anything else.</p><p>   “Steven?” Ryan asks after a few seconds. “Is everything okay?” There’s another brief pause and another eloquent ‘uh’ from Steven before the other man responds. </p><p>   “Look man I don’t know how to tell you this, but I really don’t think you sent the doc you were meaning to send.” Steven sounds like he’s physically straining, like he’s cringing as he speaks, like he’s delivering Ryan some sort of horrible news. </p><p>   “What do you...” and then Ryan stops as he realizes exactly what he’s done in this situation. His most recent Google Doc was not his Watcher Weekly concept. Before he went to bed last night he had stayed up for a little bit, writing about Shane. Particularly sappy stuff too, going on about his hands and his hair and the crinkles around his eyes. In his diary. Which also just happens to be his most recently updated Google Document.  “Oh, fuck” Ryan speaks softly, as he feels his heart drop into his stomach. He sent the wrong document to Steven. Worse, it isn’t only Steven he’s sent it to. “Oh, fuck... I sent you..”</p><p>   “Yeah, you sent it to Shane, too. I, uh... he’s not here yet. I was going to delete it from his emails before he could get to work but I don’t know his desktop passcode.” Ryan’s hearing Steven’s words, but it’s becoming harder and harder to process them over the rising panic and embarrassment. </p><p>   “Shit. Shit, shit..” Ryan fumbles around for a moment before grabbing his keys, his bag and a hat and all but sprinting out the front door. “I’m uh... I’m on my way.” He tells Steven as he hangs up the phone. All Ryan can think of in this moment is getting to the office before Shane. Getting to the office before him, somehow breaking into his desktop computer, and deleting the email he had sent before his relationship with his best friend falls down around him and he has no choice but to pass away from the resulting humiliation.</p><p>   Ryan drives to work quickly, but there is no peace for him along his commute. His mind is painstakingly going through the diary he has written, turning up all of the most damning lines to really stoke the fire that is dread growing in the pit of Ryan’s stomach. </p><p>   “Dear Diary, sometimes when Shane calls me “little guy” and I call him “big guy” I’m reminded of all those buddy cop shows where the partners are secretly in love the whole time and then finally get married in like season 6.”</p><p>“Dear Diary, when Elvis said I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You, I really felt that. You can’t help it at all.”</p><p>   “Oh, my God.” Ryan mumbles, hands gripping the steering wheel like a lifeline.</p><p>   “Dear Diary, his hands are so much bigger than mine. They’re just... so much bigger.”</p><p>    “Dear Diary, I know the bits we do can go a little off the rails sometimes, but when a bit goes right, and we’re just playing off of each other’s energy, I feel like I’m on top of the world</p><p>   I do wish I could feel him on top of me sometimes, though.”</p><p>   “Oh, my GOD!” Ryan allows himself to scream once as he pulls into his parking space, gets out of his car and enters the office. </p><p>   As Ryan walks into the office and Steven looks at him from his desk chair, the look of pity coming off of Steven is almost too much for Ryan to handle. He can feel his face heat up as he just now in this situation thinks about the fact that Steven has read at least part of his diary. Enough of it to know what it is, and exactly why the last thing Ryan wants is for Shane to see it. He can’t make eye contact, he just puts down his things at his desk before sitting at Shane’s and staring at the locked screen. </p><p>   Steven lets the silence happen for about half a minute before he, seemingly, can no longer help himself. </p><p>   “I’ve already tried a couple of passwords relating to Obi. His hint just says ‘cat’.” Steven states, as he gets up from his seat and stands next to Ryan sitting in Shane’s computer chair. </p><p>   Ryan doesn’t know what time Shane is planning on coming in today, but he’s not usually later than 8:15am. It was 7:52am now. He clicks the mouse a few times rapidly before starting to guess. </p><p>   obiwankenobi</p><p>   Incorrect Password. Hint: Cat.</p><p>   obi1234</p><p>   Incorrect Password. Hint: Cat.</p><p>   obi1986</p><p>   Incorrect Password. Hint: Cat.</p><p>   Cat</p><p>   Incorrect Password. Hint: Cat.</p><p>   “Fuck.” Ryan exclaims as he stares at the screen helplessly. This was useless, he wasn’t going to be able to guess Shane’s password, it was probably written in some kind of code.</p><p>   Steven shakes his head next to Ryan, at a loss for what to try next.</p><p>  “Dude just... how did this happen? Why would you write a diary using a digital online format, anything could happen, you could’ve been hacked, or forgotten to log out on a computer or something or... or you could accidentally send the wrong file to the wrong person.” He wasn’t trying to berate Ryan, he seemed to be almost as stressed about this as Ryan himself was, which just goes to show how much Steven Lim cares about his friends. </p><p>   “I know!” Ryan manages to exclaim back, though he’s clearly flustered and his eyes and body language are panicked, “ I was going to write a paper journal, but then there was too much, and it was already there in the document, so I just never got around to it and kept writing in the same document and I just don’t know what to do now! He might have the app, he probably does, he could have already seen it, he could be reading it right now!”</p><p>   “You don’t know that!”</p><p>   “You don’t know he’s not!” Ryan makes eye contact with Steven now, but only for a moment before his face grows pinker and he holds his head in his hands. </p><p>   That’s when Ryan’s phone begins to ring and both boys turn to look at it, sitting on the desk beside them. It’s Shane calling. </p><p>   Ryan just stares at the phone, his heart beating a million miles a minute. Why is Shane calling this early in the morning? He must have seen the email. Why else would he call? It’s 7:59am, Shane doesn’t usually..</p><p>   Ryan’s thoughts are interrupted as he watches Steven pick up his phone and answer it, and all of the color drains from Ryan’s face. </p><p>   What the fuck is Steven doing. </p><p>   From looking at him, it’s obvious that Steven has no idea what he’s doing either. His eyes are the size of saucers, and Ryan is gesturing wildly at him. In his panic Steven puts the call on speaker. After a few seconds of silence, Shane’s voice comes from the other end, confused. </p><p>   “...Hello? Ryan, you there?” Shane sounds perfectly normal, not as if he’s just uncovered Ryan’s biggest secret and is calling to let him down easy before slowly diminishing contact and turning them from best friends into distant strangers.</p><p>   “Hey, Shane!” Steven responds, trying to sound as normal as possible, but not succeeding much, as he’s Steven. Ryan is pacing the room in outrage.</p><p>  “Steven? Did I...” he goes quiet for a half second, seemingly checking the name on his phone “No I called Ryan, why are you answering Ryan’s phone? I was just calling to see if he wanted anything from Starbucks, I’m on my way to the office now.”</p><p>  “Uh. Ryan’s in the office already. He came in early. We’re both here. I just answered his phone. Because he wasn’t next to it. And I saw it was you calling. So I picked up.” Steven is stringing together a story as he goes along, which is blatantly obvious, but he’s trying his best. He makes eye contact with Ryan, and it seems clear to Ryan that Steven has some sort of plan at this point. Ryan however, not liking how this is going one bit, is again gesturing wildly at Steven to end the call. </p><p>   Unfortunately, Steven is incredibly determined. </p><p>   “Hey, while I’ve got you on the horn,” Steven starts in an attempt to be casual as Ryan sits back down, completely covering his face as if it might shield him from the train wreck he can see coming from a mile away. “What is.. the password to your desktop computer in the office?” Ryan can hear Shane laughing on the other end of the line, and he would probably be laughing at Steven’s lack of tact as well if this wasn’t the worst day of his entire life. </p><p>   “Why do you need the password to my computer?”</p><p>   “Somethings wrong with my computer, it's not turning on, and I just need to... check something real fast.” Steven lies.</p><p>   “If Ryan’s already in the office, why don’t you just use Ryan’s computer to check something?” Shane questioned, equal parts suspicious and amused. </p><p>   Steven didn’t respond right away. “Because Ryan’s using his computer right now.” Was the best Steven could come up with. </p><p>   This was going poorly. This was going so poorly. Now Shane knows something is up, he knows there’s something going on, and Ryan can’t see any way out of this situation. </p><p>   “And why, again, can Ryan not come to the phone? Is he doing some last minute work on that Watcher Weekly segment pitch? I saw he sent us the doc invite this morning, I haven’t read it yet but I figured it could wait till we got to the office.”</p><p>   “Right! In fact, don’t look at it at all! You don’t even have to open that email!” Steven basically squeaked out, and the look on his face was as if he had just killed somebody. And the look on Ryan’s face was as if he had just been sentenced to death.</p><p>   “...What? Hang on, you don’t want me to look at the document that Ryan sent? What is going on?” Shane still sounded amused, but more and more confused as the conversation progressed. </p><p>   Steven immediately started stuttering and backtracking as Ryan closed his eyes, face red as it’s ever been, losing all hope. “No, no, no. It’s not that I don’t want you to look at it, it's just that it isn’t the finished draft! He’s going to send a finished one in a little bit, and we’ll just go over that draft instead. That’s all.”</p><p>   “....Uh huh. Anyways, I’m pulling up to the drive thru. Do you guys want anything? I know I’ve been on speaker, it sounds like I’m on speaker.” </p><p>   The silence is only a moment long before Ryan and Steven mumble negatives in unison, sounding absolutely miserable. Shane laughs a bit, dumbfounded, and hangs up the phone. Steven puts the phone on the desk face down quickly, as if it might burn him.</p><p>   “Ryan..” Steven eventually speaks, looking wrecked with guilt. “I am so sorry I-I.. I messed that up pretty badly.” </p><p>   Ryan has never been more embarrassed and afraid in all of his life. Even so, he doesn’t want Steven to be so worked up. He knows he meant well.</p><p>   “It’s not your fault. You’re not smooth, but you’re also not the one who sent out his personal journal in a business email.”</p><p>   “Maybe it won’t be that bad!” Steven states now in strained optimism before continuing, “Listen, I know you guys think I’m kinda clueless, and maybe I am sometimes, and I don’t want to embarrass you more than you already are but... I wasn’t shocked when I read that doc. I was worried because I knew you’d be very upset about it but... I’ve always known. How you’ve felt, that is.” Ryan groans,  cause now they’re talking about it. They’ve been dealing with this crisis for close to 45 minutes now, but they still haven’t talked about it.</p><p>   “What do you mean?” Ryan asks, not lifting his face from his hands.</p><p>   Steven scoffs a little now, though it’s not particularly amused as much as it’s maybe a bit incredulous. “Dude. You guys are inseparable and the way you look at him, it’s like... it’s like he put the stars in the sky, you look at him as if you-“</p><p>   “What! No, dude I-“ Ryan cuts him off, but he can’t say much else.</p><p>   “Hey, I’m just saying, man! Listen, just- try not to freak out too much. Even if he reads it before we can do damage control, I have a feeling that he feels the same way.” Steven says, and Ryan appreciates his words even if he doesn’t believe them. But then Steven rambles and continues to say, “I mean, I’m more embarrassed for you because of the actual stuff you’ve got written in there like some of it is so sappy and romantic and then you’ve got some stuff that’s kind of suggestive and I—“</p><p>   Ryan cuts him off with a groan and completely turns away.</p><p>   “Dude, I— shut up, I know! Oh, my God. After this let’s— can we please— let’s never talk about this again. This is a nightmare.” He and Steven are chuckling now at the light teasing, but the laughter is heavy and nervous. They still haven’t seen their third CEO and they don’t quite know how this whole situation will play out. </p><p>   Ryan figures he might as well sell this story the best he can, it’s the only lifeline he seems to have left. He goes into his Google Docs app, selects the correct file and sends out a second email to Steven and Shane titled “Revised Watcher Weekly Segment”, hoping for the best.</p><p>   Ryan is agonizing as the minutes tick by. The Starbucks is only a 5 minute drive from the office, even factoring in traffic. It’s now been 10 minutes since Shane hung up the phone. Ryan has Photoshop open on his screen, and he’s staring at a thumbnail he should be editing right now, but his brain can do nothing but fixate on all of the writings that Shane is probably reading in the parking lot right now. </p><p>   “Dear Diary, he’s growing out his hair, and it is just so fluffy and looks so soft that all I want to do around him is reach out to touch it. He’s also growing out his mustache which is less cute, but he has fun looking ridiculous, so I guess it can’t be all bad.</p><p>   “Dear Diary, I never felt like I could write poetry or music about someone before, but now I understand where that motivation must come from. Trust me if I could wax poetic and not sound like a total jackass, this journal would be a best seller by now.</p><p>   “Dear Diary, I wonder if there really are such things as soulmates. There has never been someone I’ve felt more comfortable around, more ready to be vulnerable in front of. Never anyone I’ve felt more ready to create with. When we create it’s like magic, the way that we create content, the way that we’ve created this company, the way we could so easily create a life together.</p><p>   The front door finally swings open at 8:15am on the nose, and both Ryan and Steven visibly startle at the sudden movement. Shane walks into the office looking perfectly calm, perfectly normal, with three cups of Starbucks regardless of the lack of orders from the other two men.</p><p>   “Steven!” He greets as he walks in, putting the coffee cups down on each of their desks and receiving a small word of gratitude from both of them. “I see you got your computer to turn on, what was wrong with it?” Shane asks, not accusatory but definitely with reasonable suspicion. </p><p>   “Oh, right.” Steven responds sipping the hot chai latte he had just received, ears and nose tinting a bit pink. “It uh, wasn’t plugged in.” His response is lame, and they all notice. Shane obviously doesn’t buy it, but he accepts the answer anyways. </p><p>   “Ah! Well, that’ll do it.” He responds sagely. It’s as Shane turns around and takes in the visual of Ryan that he knows he can no longer realistically go along with this morning as if nothing weird is going on. Ryan has a terrible poker face, and Shane can’t stop himself from bursting into breathy, but fond laughter at the sight.</p><p>    Ryan is sitting at his own desk, avoiding looking at anyone at all, and wearing his baseball cap as snugly over his head as possible in a failed attempt to hide how absolutely flustered and red he is. The moment he feels Shane’s eyes on him and hears him start to laugh, his hand reaches up to rest on the back of his neck and he begins to study a paper on his desk intently. A paper that seems to be at least mostly blank. </p><p>   “Okay.” Shane says softly as he sits in his chair and swivels it to face the other two. “Are you guys going to tell me what’s going on here? Steven is lying to me, which is frankly just out of character, and Ryan you look like a stop sign.”</p><p>   It’s Steven who can’t stop the string of nervous giggles this time as Ryan doesn’t move a muscle, silently praying to whoever’s listening that the floor opens up and swallows him whole right this very moment. In an attempt to fill the silence, Steven speaks up. </p><p>  “Well, Ryan sent the updated concept for the segment he’s been working on for Watcher Weekly, so now that it’s finished we can go over it and have a little brainstorm sesh?”</p><p>  “Well,” Shane replies, “what was wrong with the first email he sent? Because we left at the same time last night, and he was pretty sure then that he was completely finished flushing it out.” Shane asks, logging into his computer. He jokingly gives suspicious eyes to Steven and makes a big show of covering up his keyboard as he puts in his password. He opens up his web browser and clicks the quick link that leads him to his email. Ryan watches as he jumps his mouse right past the new, “revised” email and clicks open the original, mistake email. Ryan moves to stand up, but Shane has already clicked open the link leading directly to Ryan’s heart via pdf.</p><p>   “Wait Shane,” he speaks up now, voice small “I- I sent the wrong document this morning, that’s all, it’s my uh— God.” </p><p>   “Oh, shit!” Shane exclaims,  “is this your diary? Man, buddy it is a bad idea to keep a diary digitally that’s just asking for disaster-“ and that’s when things finally click for Shane, as he scrolls quickly down the page to see his own name staring back. His name is in here a lot. Shane feels his own ears and neck start to heat up a bit as he reads some of the unguarded and candid thoughts of Ryan, pertaining to Shane in particular.</p><p>    “Oh.” Shane eventually manages to mutter, much softer than his teasing tone from before. He turns around to look at Ryan, and the other man looks to be an absolute wreck. Suddenly this isn’t so funny anymore. Suddenly, Shane understands exactly what’s going on here.</p><p>   Ryan’s whole face is burning where he stands in front of his desk, both of his hands are clenched up behind his neck, his cheeks are puffed out and he is staring up at the ceiling. Shane looks at him like this for a few seconds until Ryan eventually lowers his arms down to his sides, flexing his fingers as excess nerves run through his body. He lowers his gaze to the door, like he’s considering an escape route, but seems to decide against it as he lowers his eyes the rest of the way down to his shoes. Steven is silent as he stands up and excuses himself, walking away into a different room to give the two of them privacy in this difficult situation. </p><p>   Neither of the men move for a couple of moments, the energy in the room is charged and heavy. Shane feels terrible looking at Ryan like this, it’s like Sallie House all over again, only this time Shane is the one scaring him. This is the thought that makes Shane realize oh, he’d better say something.</p><p>   “Ryan,” is what he manages first, but Ryan doesn’t look up at him. Shane’s heart feels like it’s breaking.<br/>
“I am sorry, really. Once I realized what it was, I should have stopped looking at it. It was mindless of me to continue scrolling through something you didn’t intend for anyone to see, and I apologize for not controlling myself.” </p><p>   “It’s not your fault,” Ryan replies, lifting his head up slightly in an attempt to regain some pride, though he’s still nowhere near eye contact. “It’s- it’s stupid I’m sorry that this happened this was- this obviously wasn’t supposed to happen I never meant to..” Ryan’s ramblings are growing steadily more frantic and flustered as he tries to explain, until Shane cuts him off.</p><p>   “Hey, none of that.” Shane stands up, and walks a few steps over towards Ryan, reaching out to offer comfort but not to touch until he is sure Ryan is comfortable. “I am sorry that I found out about your feelings this way, I really shouldn’t have been reading your diary, even if you did send it to me. But, I’m not sorry to know about them. I wish you could have told me in your own time, or that I could have told you. That I love you, too.” Shane is looking directly at Ryan as his head snaps up and they make eye contact for the first time this morning. Shane is smiling, a big goofy grin, with those crinkles around his eyes and everything.</p><p>   “...What?” Ryan asks, now refusing to look away from Shane and the absolute sunshine that his smile has brought into this dull office space.</p><p>   “I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while. A long while. But I was a big baby, and I didn’t, and I don’t know if I ever would have if this didn’t happen. But I love you, a lot.” Shane confesses now. Ryan just stares at Shane as a few moments pass, and he begins to look a bit sheepish himself. And then a bit scared. And then he’s bouncing on his heels a bit, his smile beginning to falter. “Ryan, say something, please tell me I didn’t read this wrong, this would be a very mean prank..”</p><p>   But Shane is cut off as Ryan closes the distance, slowly putting his hand up to Shane’s face. The kiss is slow, sweet and gentle, and when they pull away they’re both smiling like absolute idiots at each other. The moment lasts between them for maybe ten seconds before they break into relieved laughter with each other. Finally the tension in the air dissipates, replaced by the excitement and joyful buzzing that comes with the beginnings of something new and beautiful.</p><p>   When Steven reenters the room several minutes later to see the boys grinning at each other, it’s safe to say that he lets out his own sigh of relief. He was pretty sure it was all going to be okay, but it is good to know that while the dynamic might change a bit, everything will be well within the lives of his friends and his company. He sits back down at his chair, almost ready now to get back to work. But he just can’t help himself.</p><p>   “Thank God everything worked out but since everything is fine… does that mean it’s fair game to make fun of Ryan for all the stuff he wrote in that document?” He asks the room in a teasing tone, and he is met with delighted laughter from Shane and now only slightly distressed groaning from Ryan.</p><p>  “Oh my God,” Ryan mutters from his desk, “I’ll never hear the end of this.”</p><p>   “I mean I’m just saying, Shane has nice hair and all, but you won’t catch me daydreaming about running my fingers through his luscious locks.” </p><p>   “Steven, shut up I swear to God-“</p><p>   “You guys are really going to have to talk about that whole “he’s not my daddy” situation from that one Unsolved episode now, huh?”</p><p>   “Oh my-“ Ryan sputters and turns red once again as Shane’s laughter only grows brighter, “I will kill you, I’m going to actually kill you.”</p><p>   Ryan is right, he never hears the end of it, but the future is bright and he’s in love, at the end of the day it’s a price he’s willing to pay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>How do I know that it’s a bad idea to keep a diary via an online digital platform?<br/>Personal experience, of course.<br/>Hah.</p><p> </p><p>Thank everyone so much for leaving kind words on this doc! Your comments are very encouraging &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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